How to Call a Doctor
When you are a twenty-something, off in the real world for the first time, you can feel like the world is full of opportunity. That you have a great destiny out there somewhere. You might even have an idea of what that destiny is and you are actively working towards it. Then the quarantine hit, the world got murky, and protests became the normal weekend activity. You took all of that with as much grace and dignity as you could. And you continued on. Yet, still with all the bravery that you had when you had to deal with huge world problems, you still feel yourself tense up when you glance at your phone and remember... You should probably schedule that doctor's appointment.
Step One: Choose Your Weapon
You have to contact the doctor's office. There really isn't much of a choice here. You have a phone and that is gonna be your main tool of choice. However, if you really wanted to try email or fax, you are more than welcome to try a method that won't work. You can stick it to all young adults everywhere and do a walk in to show the world the depths of your bravery.
Step Two: Find a Doctor?
Truthfully, this deserves its own entire article in and of itself. The state of the healthcare industry in the United States has always been a murky den of confusion and bureaucracy. Now with the quarantine and the restrictions in place, this has only become harder. Which doctor do you see? Do you need a specialist or will a general doctor do? If you have health insurance is the doctor in your network? Look, I am a young adult as well and I don't even know the answers to these questions. The best I can do is simply wish you luck and point you to Step Three.
Step Three: Dial the Number
Now don't panic quite yet. You don't have to hit the call button. This is a simple task of punching in the right buttons in the right order. If you have it on your phone, you can just click the number and it'll do it for you. Easy as pie.
Step Four: Put the Phone Down and Pick Up a Pen
Now throw the phone away from you like it's a snake about to strike! Whew, that was a close one. You got dangerously close to actually talking to another person over the phone. Who are you, your parents? You know what you have to say to the receptionist. You know you are going to have to answer questions about why you're calling. You totally know that you know the answers to those questions. But... maybe it would be nice to have them on hand. Write down all the answers to possible questions. Put down your dog's name. They might ask about her. And maybe toss in the fact that you've taken up hula-hooping during quarantine. Who knows? It might come up!
Step Five: Realize You Can Totally Do This Another Day
Look at the phone that is still where you threw it. Your medical issue isn't that pressing, right? Right? Okay, its serious, but you can call tomorrow. Pick up your phone and breathe a sigh of relief. You did good work today! You found a doctor and wrote down everything that you might need. Actually, go ahead and add the fact that you ran cross-country all four years of high school. Now, tomorrow when you call, you will have anything and everything that you might need. Just... call tomorrow. Easy. Tomorrow.
Step Six: Two Weeks Later
You find the piece of paper with all the information on it and wonder why your social security number is bracketed by a picture of you hula-hooping and a list of tricks you taught your dog. That series of digits at the top that most call a phone number shocks you back to the past. Those digits are more accurately described as the number of the Devil. The sign of the Beast. But, it is a number that you suppose you should finally dial. Pick up your phone. Feel your heartbeat begin to speed up. A trickle of sweat races its way down the side of your head. Gulp. Dial the number.
Step Seven: Call the Doctor
Press call. Make your way through the bells that toll for thee. The seemingly unending rings that hearken your doom seem to grow louder. And then the Beast answers. “Hi, this is Rachel. How can I help you today?” The Devil always comes in the forms you least expect. However, this is a task you need to do.
Step Eight: Breathe
Breathe in.... Breathe out.... And... “Hi, Rachel. I was hoping to schedule an appointment today.”
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